I didn't think much of it until my wife purchased my parents marriage record for Valentine's Day this year. I immediately saw that the same situation. I knew that my grandad had died from lung cancer (as my dad did) when my dad was a young boy. But, it still came as a shock.
I would hate to think that if my child gets married that I wouldn't be around to see it. I'd really hate their marriage record to display the same situation as mine and my parents. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
We think of traditions as something positive that is passed through the generations. However, the word 'tradition' can be traced back to the Latin 'tradere', which can be used as 'deliver' or 'betray'. Interestingly, one of the definitions of 'betray' is 'be gravely disloyal to'.
While I don't think of being betrayed by my father (I'm sure he hated the fact that he wasn't going to be around long enough for his family), I would feel that I am betraying my child if I didn't do whatever I can to be around for as long as possible. I long to witness their life events, from completing school, to getting a job, to get married, to having children of their own.
This is a tradition that I want to stop right here. I want to do everything I can to ensure that I'm not only around for a long time for my family, but also well enough to be as little of a burden as possible. I hope that I'll be around long enough for them to ask me questions about my life, rather than having to search vital records for information about me.
Sending out love to my grandad and my father. Rest in peace.
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